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Post by mackie on Dec 26, 2010 18:54:40 GMT 1
£14 for a full xmas dinner that feeds 3 thats why mums go to iceland £10 for an 18yr old bouncing on your cock all day thats why--------------- mike globe er dads goes to thailand ;D ;D ;D--
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Post by mackie on Jan 4, 2011 23:08:04 GMT 1
the wife said to me the hardest thing in the world is to balance a caree and a family life bets she never tried balancing a lap topon her knees while having a wank
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Post by HatMan on Jan 8, 2011 19:25:31 GMT 1
A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Eye, hods, I was a canny sales man back in Newcastle." The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK, so how many sales did you make today?" The Geordie said "Just the one, Marra." The manager groaned ..."Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for? "£124,237.64" replied the Geordie. The manager choked and exclaimed "£124,237.64, what the hell did you sell him?" "Well, forst I selt him a smaal fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I selt him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was gannin' fishing and he said doon at the coast, so I telt him he would need a booat, so we went doon tiv the boat department and I selt him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him doon tiv the car sales and I selt him the 4 x 4 Suzuki". The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?" "Ner, nah......he came in here to buy a box of Tampax for his ladyfriend and I said ''Well, since ya weekend's focked, ya might as well gan fishin..."
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Post by mackie on Jan 13, 2011 20:40:24 GMT 1
the rspca are investigating a report about 11 donkeys that got a beating last night at blackpool ;D ;D
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Post by jimmyfisher on Jan 21, 2011 23:45:46 GMT 1
teacher at school asks,dose anyone know where pakistan is....................little johnny says,i think he goes home for dinner ;D ;D ;D
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Post by mackie on Feb 7, 2011 21:19:21 GMT 1
builder on the 3rd floor forgot to bring his saw up with him he shouts down to paddy but he cant hear him so he does sign language he points to his eye (I ) then his knee (need)& moves his hand back and forth with a saw motion , paddynods and pulls down his pants and starts wanking ,furios the builder runs down stairs ,what the thingy are you doing , i said i need my saw , i know said paddy i was letting you know i was cumming
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Post by jimmyfisher on Feb 20, 2011 12:26:01 GMT 1
a jewish boy has been born with no eye lids,doctors say they can operate using his foreskin from his circumcision but there is a50/50 chance he will be cockeyed ;D ;D
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Post by mackie on Mar 9, 2011 19:53:41 GMT 1
paddy says to murphy why you got a empty milk bottle in your fridge , you thick irish git replys murphy everybody knows its for black coffee
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Post by jimmyfisher on Mar 10, 2011 20:04:47 GMT 1
guy walks into a chemist and asked for some viagra,the pharmacist,says i need some proof you need it,guy says will a photo of the wife do ;D
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Post by HatMan on May 22, 2011 10:13:24 GMT 1
I bought the wife a Memory Stick, it's great! She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since she had the first beating!
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Post by HatMan on May 22, 2011 10:13:44 GMT 1
A farmer gets a phone call from his son. I've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor still alive...shoot it says the farmer, and then bury it....about 20mins later he gets another call..."done that, what should I do with his speed camera and motorbike?"
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Post by HatMan on May 22, 2011 10:14:03 GMT 1
Sky news report. The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya. They sent in 3 ships - 2 full of sand and one full of cement..it was a mortar attack.
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Post by HatMan on May 22, 2011 10:14:28 GMT 1
The missus asked if she pleased me in bed? I said "yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth." . . . "What trick?" she asked? "The one where you shut up and go to sleep!"
A Geordie and a Yank aid worker are helping out in Japan at the end of WW2 Yank says, "You from round here, buddy?" "No," he replies, "Newcastle" "What State's that in?" asks the Yank. "Pretty much the same as this bloody place!"
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Post by HatMan on May 22, 2011 10:14:38 GMT 1
An assortment of high powered weapons and a stash of drugs including cocaine, heroin and ecstacy have been found behind the Job Centre in Liverpool. The locals are said to be in a state of shock........;They had no idea they had a Job Centre!
Stephen Hawking went on his first date in 10 years, and when he got back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees. Apparently she'd stood him up!
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship... she replied "Always wear one's seatbelt and don't piss me off!"
My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger. It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles and my dick out, that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out!!
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Post by tigerpants on Nov 9, 2011 20:13:23 GMT 1
JUST FOSTERD A MUSLIM ALL FOUR CANS HIT HIM ON THE HEAD ;D ;D ;D ;D
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