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Post by whitty on Apr 2, 2010 18:47:27 GMT 1
I've created a new board in honour of Riddler & all you comedians out there. Please keep all jokes & related bollox in here & leave the General Non Fishing Board for other items such as non fishing related queries, birthday wishes etc. Right guys joke away ;D ;D The Team
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Post by riddler on Apr 2, 2010 18:58:50 GMT 1
nice one!! got this from another site.....
Just seen this logo on a a passing lads tee shirt....thought it was brill.
TO DO IS TO BE......SOCRATES. TO BE IS TO DO......PLATO. DO BE DO BE DO.....SINATRA. ;D ;D ;D
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Post by theblokewhopostsbutdoesntfish on Apr 2, 2010 22:00:25 GMT 1
Presume that means ya banned from all other threads Ridds! Please leave your sense of humour by the door and collect on the way out! ( If you ve got one ) ;D
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Post by riddler on Apr 23, 2010 10:44:47 GMT 1
I was walking past a mental asylum today and heard the a lot of shouting coming over the high fence, They were shouting..." 13 13 13 13!!!", I was going to continue and not take any notice but my curiousity got the better of me, so i decided to try and see what it was all about, but the fence was too high.
I eventually found a hole in the fence got down on my knees to peer through, and someone poked me right in the FLIPPIN eye with a stick, then the inmates started shouting" 14 14 14 14!!"
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Post by riddler on Apr 23, 2010 12:56:38 GMT 1
some recipes for you egg flappers and wide boys ...i know how much you love yer food!!
wink,wink,nudge nudge,!!
( ive no smilies ??)
any how this first one is for a delicious bannana bread!!
Ingredients
º Laughing Eyes º Loving Arms º Well Shaped Legs º Firm Milk Containers º Fur-Lined Mixing Bowl º Large Banana
Mixing Instructions:
1. Look into Laughing Eyes, spread Well-Shaped Legs, squeeze and massage Milk Containers very gently until Fur-Lined Bowl is well greased.
2. Add Banana and gently work in and out until well creamed. Cover with nuts and sigh until well relieved.
3. Bread is done when Banana is soft.
4. Be sure to wash mixing utensils and don't lick the bowl. If bread starts to rise - LEAVE TOWN!
(Gourmets may lick the bowl)
heres one you can spend sharing with 149 of yer anglin pals!!or in patsys case ....its a meal for two!!
stuffed camel
Ingredients:
1 Medium Camel 4 Lambs 20 chickens (Rosted) 150 Eggs (Boiled) 40 Kilos of Tomatoes Salt and Seasonings
Mixing Instructions:
1. Stuff eggs into tomatoes 2. Stuff tomatoes into chickens 3. Stuff chickens into lambs 4. Stuff lambs into camel 5. Roast until tender
Serves 150 people
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Post by riddler on Apr 30, 2010 7:34:46 GMT 1
i got this from another site...its a cracker!! ;D ;D
*two muslim mothers*
Two Muslim mothers are comparing notes. The older of the Muslim mothers pulls out her bag and starts flipping through family photos and reminiscing. "This is my oldest son, Mohamed. He would have been 24 now." The other mother replies, "Yes, I remember him as a baby." The first mother says, "He's a martyr now." "Oh... That's so sad, my dear.." Then the first mother flips to another picture. "And this is my second son, Abdul. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him. He had such curly hair when he was born." The first mother sighs, "He's also a martyr." "Oh gracious me!! " says the second mother. And this... this is my third son. My beautiful Ahmed! He would be 18 this year." "Why, yes," says her friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school!" "He's also a martyr," the first mother says. She sobs, her eyes fill with tears. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photos, gently lays her hand on the first woman's shoulder and says: "They blow up so fast, don't they?" _______
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Post by riddler on Apr 30, 2010 14:34:17 GMT 1
whilst hanging out my england flag out my bedroom window, i wondered if it would annoy my muslim neighbours, so to be on the safe side i wrote bin laden is a tosser on it.
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Post by Pats on Apr 30, 2010 18:43:35 GMT 1
Nicked from another forum
The only way Dave and Sandra could get a Sunday afternoon "quickie" was to send their 8 year old son out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on the streets activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into action........"Theres a car being towed from the Parking lot" he shouted...."An Ambulance just drove by!.....Looks like the Andersons have company".He called out...."Matts riding a new bike!....Looks like the Sanders are moving!....Jason is on his Skate Board!"....After a few moments he roared,"The Wilsons are shagging!"......Startled,his Mum and Dad shot up in bed!.....Dad cautiosly called out."How do you know that Son?".......He replies....."Jimmy Wilson is standing on his Balcony eating a Mars Bar!!!!!"...
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Post by riddler on Apr 30, 2010 18:55:36 GMT 1
;D ;D
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Post by riddler on May 1, 2010 13:42:37 GMT 1
did you know if you take the word race car and and spell it backwards it says race car, and did you know if you take the word eat, and place the first letter at the back of the word it spells the past tense ate, and did you know if you take the letters in the words ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, and add alot more , you get "why dont you lot f@@k off back to where you came from, and stop pouncing on us brits .."
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Post by jimmyfisher on May 31, 2010 16:10:31 GMT 1
me and the mrs had a blazin row earlier and i will be honest i ended up givin her a slap,half an hour later we had the best sex ever.........well i did she was still unconscious ;D ;D
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Post by maci on Jun 3, 2010 21:30:33 GMT 1
bud nudd bud nuud bud nuuuud u had a shave yet young man ;D ;D ;D
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Post by jimmyfisher on Jun 26, 2010 9:51:08 GMT 1
after being eliminated from the world cup,nigeria,cameroon and algeria are expected to arrive home in england tomorrow ;D ;D
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Post by riddler on Jun 26, 2010 17:54:09 GMT 1
;D ;D ;D that tickled me!!
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Post by jimmyfisher on Jun 28, 2010 10:29:55 GMT 1
think everybody needs to stop givin emile heskey such a hard time and remember how good he was in the green mile ;D ;D
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